Doing Good

Since my presentation at a coaching conference last week I have been thinking a lot about doing good.  It seems to me that there is something in the air in the US right now about living fulfilling lives and being of service to others.  Maybe it is in the circles in which I circulate or maybe it is a larger trend.  I think the later.  

Where I am getting stuck is this - doing good where you feel good about what you are doing may not be having the positive impact that you desire.  Look at some of the missionaries of old.  Spend a minute recalling the history of Native American children who were taken from their homes and sent to boarding schools.  I suspect those folks felt good about what they were doing although the impact on others was often horrific.

There are more benign interventions.  Medical missions that spend a week dispensing care in developing countries.  Youth trips  that spend a week or more building homes or clinics in less developed countries.  What about those?  Research that I came across was unable to prove significant positive change for the beneficiaries from these visits.  Big money is going to send folks around the globe.  What is better because of it?

Dambisa Moyo, an economist from Zambia, wrote the impact of aid on Africa.  Her book title tells the whole story: Dead Aid.   Moyo doesn't find too much good to say about aid to Africa.  She goes so far to speculate that Africa would be far better off without it.   'Nough said. (go to http://www.zambian-economist.com/2009/03/dead-aid-by-dambisa-moyo-review.html)

 Instead of us going down and handing out pills  or building communities what people in developing countries need is funding for the projects that they do want to accomplish and advocacy for rights that they are not achieving on their own.  Grow local talent.  Grow local skills and know how.  Lets move aside to give space for others to grow. 

That, however, does not make us feel energized and upbeat as building a school in Mexico or digging ditches in Kenya.

So what about this gap? What makes us feel fulfilled might be exactly opposite as to what contributes to the well being of the recipients of our interests.  

I fear that helping others grows ourselves at the expense of the other.  We run the risk of making others small when we help.  Giving unsolicited advice contributes making the other diminish.  Solving someone's problems for them robs them of the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems and build the self confidence that goes hand in hand with that. 

We all need to give each other a hand.  That is true.  How can we be sure that what we are doing empowers the other rather than the opposite?  What steps must we take to ensure that we are not fulfilling our own dreams at the expense of others?  

Just because you feel good about what you are doing is not proof positive that it is also good for the other.

How will we know the difference?