If You're Not Part of the Solution....

You remember the words that are attributed to JFK.  Be part of the solution, he extolled us.  I think that in everyone's heart of hearts (yes, I mean everyone) we truly want to be part of the solution.  We think we are part of the solution... or we don't think about it at all which is the easier personal route to take.

A month or so ago, while co-facilitating a 

department retreat,  I watched as one woman worked vigorously to put the brakes on the upswing in positive teamwork that the group was experiencing.  She was angry and disenfranchised.  By word and deed she spread that message around.  I do not resonate with that type of behavior, it is unseemly and backward, although I tell you here and now that I have been known to engage in it myself.    

She was being a negative leader - which is some kind of leader, I guess.  I watched as her colleagues, who obviously cared for her, tried to cajole her and solicit her opinion but she was resolute in standing for anger and obstructionism.  

Sitting here some time later, I think that she was trying to tell us all that it was not working for her - that something needed to be done to make things better.   That was the best she could do at the moment - a shout out that things weren't going so well, at least not from her perspective.

This last weekend, by contrast,  I was with 40 or so people that were practicing mindfulness.  As hard as that sounds, and for me it is very hard,  being present to every moment is consciously choosing what impact you are going to have.  Taking responsibility for every moment and how you are being in it.

Thich Nhat Hanh,  the Zen Buddhist Monk and teacher of mindfulness,  says that the only thing we truly own are our actions.   

This is not easy.  I was in a board meeting as a board member and found my anger growing as various board members and the CEO blamed each other for not being up to snuff.  I even found myself tossing my borrowed pen back to its owner in an act of frustration.  Oh, I was not proud of myself.    

And if it counts, I caught myself, took a few long breaths,  step aside from the feelings of frustration and anger and took a smile.  Got back in the game of making things better not worse.

I keep thinking, don't we want to be part of the solution?