Leading Edge Leaders

Doing Good

2009-06-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

Since my presentation at a coaching conference last week I have been thinking a lot about doing good. It seems to me that there is something in the air in the US right now about living fulfilling lives and being of service to others. Maybe it is in the circles in which I circulate or maybe it is a larger trend. I think the later.

Where I am getting stuck is this - doing good where you feel good about what you are doing may not be having the positive impact that you desire. Look at some of the missionaries of old. Spend a minute recalling the history of Native American children who were taken from their homes and sent to boarding schools. I suspect those folks felt good about what they were doing although the impact on others was often horrific.

There are more benign interventions. Medical missions that spend a week dispensing care in developing countries. Youth trips that spend a week or more building homes or clinics in less developed countries. What about those? Research that I came across was unable to prove significant positive change for the beneficiaries from these visits. Big money is going to send folks around the globe. What is better because of it?

Dambisa Moyo, an economist from Zambia, wrote the impact of aid on Africa. Her book title tells the whole story: Dead Aid. Moyo doesn't find too much good to say about aid to Africa. She goes so far to speculate that Africa would be far better off without it. 'Nough said. (go to http://www.zambian-economist.com/2009/03/dead-aid-by-dambisa-moyo-review.html)

Instead of us going down and handing out pills or building communities what people in developing countries need is funding for the projects that they do want to accomplish and advocacy for rights that they are not achieving on their own. Grow local talent. Grow local skills and know how. Lets move aside to give space for others to grow.

That, however, does not make us feel energized and upbeat as building a school in Mexico or digging ditches in Kenya.

So what about this gap? What makes us feel fulfilled might be exactly opposite as to what contributes to the well being of the recipients of our interests.

I fear that helping others grows ourselves at the expense of the other. We run the risk of making others small when we help. Giving unsolicited advice contributes making the other diminish. Solving someone's problems for them robs them of the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems and build the self confidence that goes hand in hand with that.

We all need to give each other a hand. That is true. How can we be sure that what we are doing empowers the other rather than the opposite? What steps must we take to ensure that we are not fulfilling our own dreams at the expense of others?

Just because you feel good about what you are doing is not proof positive that it is also good for the other.

How will we know the difference?

Dispatches From Tom Peters and the New World of Work

2009-05-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Wrong Answer!

Tom Peters wrote about getting the job done, no matter what, at his blog.

While his story is different than mine, I appreciate his point about getting the job done no matter what.

===========

I'm returning to Vietnam later this month—for the first time in 41 years. Hence my mind drifts occasionally to the 4-decade-old events that marked the beginning of my professional career.

One rather strange occurrence crossed my mind while driving home to VT from Boston last week.

I was out in the field, deep in the jungle, in fact, building a camp for a U.S. Army Special Forces team. I was choppered back to Danang in a rush for a brief meeting with the Commandant of the U.S. Marine Corps, General Leonard Chapman, who was paying a visit to I Corps, the northern part of South Vietnam, which was under USMC command—more specifically under the command of General Lew Walt.

What the hell was a LTJG (very junior officer) doing visiting with a 4-star general? Simple. My uncle, General H.W. Buse, was USMC Chief of Staff back in D.C., and my aunt had insisted that General Chapman see me in the flesh. (Aunts are like that, even, or especially, at the Mrs. 4-star general level.) (Also, her son, my cousin, was in Vietnam as well—a USMC captain.)

When I got back from the field, covered with mud (it was rainy season), I was sent directly to the Commandant with no time to change into a respectable uniform—a great embarrassment. General Chapman engaged in all of about 15 seconds of chitchat, and having done his duty to my aunt, sent me on my way. As I was literally walking out of his temporary field office, he summoned me back, and said, out of the blue, "Tom, are you taking care of your men?" (I had a little detachment, about 20 guys as I recall, doing the work described before.)

Yup, 40 years plus later, I remember his exact words—which is the point of this Post. I replied to the General, "I'm doing my best, sir." To this day, with a chill going up my spine (no kidding—as I type this), I can see his face darken, and his voice harden, "Mr Peters, General Walt and I and General Buse are not interested in whether or not you are 'doing your best.' We simply expect you to get the job done—and to take care of your sailors. Period. That will be all, Lieutenant."

The line echoes to this day—as you can tell. You are there to "get the job done"—not just-merely "do your best." I recall many years later seeing a Churchill quote that was much the same; more or less this: ""It is not enough to do your best or try as hard as you can—you must succeed in doing what is necessary."

I guess it was all this stuff that, about a year ago, caused me to more or less lose it during a Q&A session at a healthcare conference. We were talking about medical errors and patient safety. And people kept saying, "We're understaffed." "This is a 'caring profession'—and everybody cares despite the stress." "We're doing our best with the resources available." "The docs resist this, that, and the other." Etc. Etc. Yup, I lost it, and sang the General Chapman-Winston Churchill song: "It really doesn't matter how much everybody cares, or that you're doing your damnedest—you must get the job done and stop unnecessarily wounding and killing patients." The response gave new meaning to the term "stony silence."

And so the lesson sticks, on this, the 43rd anniversary, of my first "visit" to Vietnam. The lesson sticks, and the voice and demeanor of General Chapman are as clear and commanding and unequivocal as they were four decades ago.

I'll conclude with a simple "thank you" to the late General Chapman. I think I can say with some certainty that the story of my life would not have unfolded as it has, had the General not made his views on success and failure so succinct and so crystal clear.

11 Things to Do When Its You Who Is Burned Out

2009-05-04T06:47:00.001-07:00

Signs of Burnout and 11 Things To Do When Its You (who is burned out)

Imagine this scenario: Lately, since your department was downsized, your teammate is at work and at her desk hours before you arrive in the morning. When you greet her she gives a nod without turning her eyes from the computer screen. She looks exhausted, says she is getting the flu again, but says she can't slow down. You are pretty sure that she did not eat breakfast and will skip lunch. She acts like she is rushing but it doesn't seem like things are really getting done. She no longer goes out for drinks after work, saying she has to stay at her computer to finish. Your colleague brushes aside offers to help, but she is clearly overwhelmed. She has become cynical about the work and everyone she works with.

What's going on?

These are some of the signs of someone in danger of burning out. And as our organizations continue to tighten their belts, doing as much or more work with fewer people and with so much fear for the future, many of us may cross the line from being overworked into being burned out.

Signs of Burnout

Physical

· Feeling tired and drained most of the time

· Lowered immunity, feeling sick a lot

· Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle aches

· Change in appetite or sleep habits

Emotional signs

· Sense of failure and self-doubt

· Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated

· Detachment, feeling alone in the world

· Loss of motivation

· Increasingly cynical and negative outlook

· Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment

Behavioral signs

· Withdrawing from responsibilities

· Isolating yourself from others

· Procrastinating, taking longer to get things done

· Using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope

· Taking out your frustrations on others

· Skipping work or coming in late and leaving early

10 Things To Do When Its You (who is burned out)

The first step is acknowledging that you are on the brink or experiencing full blown burnout. Pushing on through, isolating yourself to get more done or numbing yourself through self-medication are not winning strategies. Take a deep breath, and a step backwards. Take stock of how you feel in your body, in your spirit, and take note of how you are behaving.

1. AVOID ISOLATION

Don't do everything alone! Develop or renew intimacies with friends

and loved ones. Closeness not only brings new insights, but also is

anathema to agitation and depression.

2. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES

If your job, your relationships, a situation, or a person is dragging

you under, try to alter your circumstances or, if necessary, leave.

3. STOP OVERNURTURING

If you routinely take on other people's problems and responsibilities,

learn to gracefully disengage. Try to get some nurturing for yourself.

4. LEARN TO SAY "NO"

You'll help diminish intensity by speaking up for yourself. This means

refusing additional requests or demands on your time or emotions.

5. BEGIN TO BACK OFF AND DETACH

Learn to delegate, not only at work, but also at home and with

friends. In this case, detachment means rescuing yourself for

yourself.

6. REASSESS YOUR VALUES

Try to sort out the meaningful values from the temporary and fleeting,

the essential from the nonessential. You'll conserve energy and time,

and begin to feel more centered.

7. LEARN TO PACE YOURSELF

Try to take life in moderation. You only have so much energy

available. Ascertain what is wanted and needed in your life, then

begin to balance work with love, pleasure, and relaxation.

8. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

Don't skip meals, abuse yourself with rigid diets, disregard your need

for sleep, or break doctor appointments. Take care of yourself

nutritionally.

9. DIMINISH WORRY AND ANXIETY

Try to keep superstitious worrying to a minimum. It changes nothing.

You'll have a better grip on your situation if you spend less time

worrying and more time taking care of your real needs. Check out the Primer on Feelings.

10. KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR

Begin to bring joy and happy moments into your life. Very few people

suffer burnout when they're having fun.

11. GET HELP. Get a coach, get into therapy or talk to your mentor. Most of us thrive when we have a partner who works with us to make changes in our habits of thought and patterns of action.

Times are Tough: Managing Your Relations With Others

2009-04-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

Working well with others continues to be a touchpoint for many of us. In conversations with clients and friends, I find that I am having many discussions about managing up and managing out. Perhaps since times are tough, these relationships are becoming even more critical or, at the least, we are noticing them more.

The articles below, Managing Up: The 4 Stages of Creating A Working Relationship With Your Boss and A Checklist for Managing Up, give us a clear road map for having productive and pleasant relations with our bosses and colleagues.

Robert Jud, the author, has deep management experience. You can find more about him at Gilliland&Jud or Robert A. Jud & Associates.

Managing Up: The 4 Stages of Creating a working Relationship with your Boss

It is important to establish at the outset that Managing Up is not a process for kissing up, sucking up, being a toady, or manipulating a boss through shameless self-promotion.

The second thing to understand is that all relationships are managed, even the most intimate ones. Both parties to any relationship have an active role to play in seeing to it that it works. Managing a relationship means making a deliberate effort to bring understanding and cooperation to a relationship between two individuals who share a common goal, but who also quite often have different personalities, preferences, ideas, perspectives, and behavioral styles.

The opposite of managing up, by the way, is deciding simply to sit back and wait: wait for instructions on how to do your job, wait for the next promotion, wait for others to recognize your brilliance and true worth, and so on. This passive approach to bosses makes it very difficult for them in turn to create an authentic relationship with you.

What makes managing up so difficult, of course, is that any relationship with an authority figure has within it a power imbalance, often a huge one. Mishandling this process has some penalties. Nevertheless, management experts universally agree that mastering the skills involved in this process is critical for anyone pursuing a meaningful role and a career in contemporary organizations. Such a relationship takes time to build up, and the best ones occur in a series of stages. Here's what they are:

Stage 1: Building Trust & Rapport

Team Leaders have a right to expect that their team members are aligned with the unit's goals and strategies, and that they will bring energetic contributions to that end. Here are the kinds of things followers can do to create that sort of feeling:

1. Be clear on the boss's expectations of you and your team. A checklist for accomplishing this will appear later in this newsletter.

2. Be sensitive to her priorities, and spend some time learning about and then understanding her perspective and agenda.

3. Try to anticipate problems likely to arise in pursuit of that agenda, and provide early warnings if it looks like things are going off track; nobody likes surprises.

4. Act like a partner by accepting responsibility for what you undertake.

5. Look for any way you can to save his time and to value it.

6. Value the time you get with your boss. Choose more frequent but brief meetings, rather than long marathons

7. Try to solve and fix as many problems as you can on your own. If the problem is big enough to bring to the boss's attention, be sure to also carry with you some solutions or options. "If they're going to bring me a dead cat," said one regional director, "they also better bring along a shovel."

8. As quickly as you can, pick up on their pressure points and hot buttons. And keep them in mind when you respond.

9. Learn what her strengths are, figure out ways to leverage them.

10. Learn what his weaknesses are; find ways to overcome, or compensate, or steer around them. Always try to make your boss look good.

11. Request feedback often; listen to it carefully; accept it, whether you think it's accurate or not.

12. As quickly as you can, learn the difference between your boss's management style and your own; then figure out as best you can a way to bridge them.

13. Communicate with her on a consistent basis; most of those communications should be brief and to the point, and should consist mostly of updates, news items they don't already know, tip-offs of future events.

14. Most of the steps listed above mean that you should learn by honing your observational skills. This is especially true of an ability to pick up quickly on moods and reactions.

15. The longer you are with the organization, the more you will want to tie your requests, proposals, and project directions to the boss's and the Agency's overarching goals.

16. Don't bad-mouth colleagues to the boss, and don't gossip.

17. Be prudent about how much of your life away from work you reveal, or how much you probe for your boss's time away from work.

18. Despite your best efforts, don't expect your boss (or anybody else, for that matter) to change all that much. The important thing to pick up on is how they will consistently respond in life situations, because that will allow you just as consistently to work through it or around it.

Stage 2: Figuring out When To Manage Upward

Research indicates that these are the most cited reasons why team members feel a disconnect or discomfort such that managing up seems to be called for:

1. The Boss doesn't think you're as good as you think you are.

2. You think your boss got the job you should have.

3. There is a large gap in skills which leads to undervaluing/not respecting the other (either direction).

4. Mismatches in ethics, values and integrity.

5. Mismatches in management practices.

6. Mismatches in style, philosophy, pace, or motivation.

7. Poor communication---in both directions.

What are the kind of things a boss does when you find the need to manage up? Basically, when the boss becomes an unpredictable moving target. Just when you thought things were ticking along as they should, he or she goes and does something surprising that you didn't dream they would do. Some examples:

1. She doesn't invite you to a meeting to which you should have been invited.

2. He goes around you to communicate important issues to people who are ordinarily your direct contacts.

3. She constantly drops the ball regarding important issues that affect your work

4. It appears he is attempting to do his job and your job at the same time.

Stage 3: Pursue Your Own Needs In The Relationship

The first two steps in this process suggest that your boss is at present the single greatest determinant of your success, that paying attention to his or her style and preferences should receive your great attention, and that there is a range of behaviors that will make that happen. But since all relationships are two-way streets, managing up means that at some point you have to make sure your needs and wants are also being addressed. Here are some things you may wish to keep in mind in that regard;

1. Your job here is to add perceived value to the organization. To do that, in at least some measure you have to be listened to.

2. Learn over time exactly which job functions to take on, which to delegate, and which to negotiate.

3. To manage your boss, learn to be a top-notch negotiator. Remember that when negotiating with people in a relationship, the object is not to win or come out on top, but to create outcomes that are fair to all parties. Pick up a slender copy of "Getting to Yes" by Ury and Fisher to refresh your memory of how that's done. You never get what you don't request. Know what you want and be clear in asking for it.

4. Practice using direct, clear speech when discussing things with authority figures. If this does not come naturally to you, take a distance learning course on Plain Talk and Assertion.

5. While it is important to level with your boss, it is a mistake to compete with him or her. You will always lose.

6. If you are given an unrealistic work assignment from your boss, the first step is to present options on prioritizing your workload to you boss.

7. Get involved in your profession and gain higher standing in your field. It will add immeasurably to legitimate feelings of self-confidence. You do this by networking, expanding your skill mix, staying informed, participating in professional groups, and the like.

8. Be absolutely dependable in delivering on your commitments and promises. Here are some things in that regard to keep in mind:

· Keep promises to a minimum; never make rash or hasty promises.

· Make specific, not general promises

· Make close-ended promises by putting a time limit on them.

· Under-promise, over-deliver.

· Admit when things are beyond your control or your abilities.

· Learn to goodmouth; always look for the best in people and situations.

9. Here are some final, general communication tips for talking to authority figures: start off by doing your homework; listen carefully and with full attention to what the other says; listen for gist, not to debate or refute; be persistent and patient; be clear and assertive; allow for face-saving---don't' back the boss into a corner, because your goal is clarity and equity, not embarrassment.

10. Never, never, never complain to others about your boss.

Stage 4: What if Your Boss is the Problem?

Don't try to go over your boss's head or behind his/her back. That is not the way to manage up and can permanently ruin your relationship and your career. Always try to work something out. If the boss is a serious problem and you have no other options left, you can report this issue higher up the chain of command as a last resort under these conditions:

1. Your project is on the line, and there is an urgent problem your boss continues to ignore.

2. Your boss is doing something illegal.

3. Your boss has a serious physical illness, mental illness, or substance abuse problem that you are aware of and others aren't.

4. Your boss is doing something (e.g., sexual harassment or contracting irregularities) that could lead to lawsuits, criminal charges, or bad publicity.

What Do You Want From Me? A Checklist for Managing Upwards

Most bosses do a poor job of explaining what they want from you when you first come to work for them, and they are frequently just as poor afterwards when they give you a work assignment. The key to this problem is to take the initiative by asking for an exploratory meeting where you can find out what you need to know. Here is a checklist you can use for that purpose:

* Try to get a sense of context. Ask for a full description of your job, with examples of typical assignments. Find out whom this work is for, and how it fits in to everything else going on around here. If this discussion will take a while, plan on more than one discussion.

* Deadlines: How will they let you know when they would like to have it, and how that differs from when it's really due?

* How can you find out when (s)he would like you to do a thorough job which takes a little longer, or when (s)he would prefer the quick and dirty version?

* How does the boss prefer to see the output of your work? What format would make that person's job easier?

* How will you learn how much time you have to complete a job? Will your boss confer with you on this or will you be handed arbitrary deadlines?

* How about priorities? Can you ask how the importance of any new assignment compares to that of the other things you have been asked to do?

* What resources do you have to complete your work---specifically in terms of budgets, staffing, equipment, electronic tools, etc.?

* What are the success criteria your boss will use to judge the quality of your work? Is it more important for you to be fast, cheap, or perfect?

* When you get a long-term or complex assignment, is the boss open to periodic milestones or checkpoint meetings? What are his (her) preferences for the content and style of those meetings?

* Whenever you have concerns at the outset of a project or assignment, how, when, and under what circumstances should you raise them?

* Ask:"What are the kinds of behaviors and attitudes of subordinates that typically drive you crazy, and that I should therefore know about?

If You're Not Part of the Solution....

2009-03-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

You remember the words that are attributed to JFK. Be part of the solution, he extolled us. I think that in everyone's heart of hearts (yes, I mean everyone) we truly want to be part of the solution. We think we are part of the solution... or we don't think about it at all which is the easier personal route to take.

A month or so ago, while co-facilitating a

department retreat, I watched as one woman worked vigorously to put the brakes on the upswing in positive teamwork that the group was experiencing. She was angry and disenfranchised. By word and deed she spread that message around. I do not resonate with that type of behavior, it is unseemly and backward, although I tell you here and now that I have been known to engage in it myself.

She was being a negative leader - which is some kind of leader, I guess. I watched as her colleagues, who obviously cared for her, tried to cajole her and solicit her opinion but she was resolute in standing for anger and obstructionism.

Sitting here some time later, I think that she was trying to tell us all that it was not working for her - that something needed to be done to make things better. That was the best she could do at the moment - a shout out that things weren't going so well, at least not from her perspective.

This last weekend, by contrast, I was with 40 or so people that were practicing mindfulness. As hard as that sounds, and for me it is very hard, being present to every moment is consciously choosing what impact you are going to have. Taking responsibility for every moment and how you are being in it.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist Monk and teacher of mindfulness, says that the only thing we truly own are our actions.

This is not easy. I was in a board meeting as a board member and found my anger growing as various board members and the CEO blamed each other for not being up to snuff. I even found myself tossing my borrowed pen back to its owner in an act of frustration. Oh, I was not proud of myself.

And if it counts, I caught myself, took a few long breaths, step aside from the feelings of frustration and anger and took a smile. Got back in the game of making things better not worse.

I keep thinking, don't we want to be part of the solution?

Be The Leader You Want to See in The World

2009-02-13T10:14:00.001-08:00

Last week I stood in front of 25 individuals and asked them to chose to be the leader that they wanted to see in the world. Not ask that someone else step up to the plate and be that person but that they do it themselves. Maybe some people got it. Probably some people thought I was off my rocker since most of them were not in traditional leadership positions. But I am hoping that two or three or even a landslide of 5 people understood. The time has come to take responsibility, be accountable to what you want to see in the world and then be audacious and create it. And all that starts at home with you and with me.

I don't think that this is a radical idea but it is one that is not widely shared. The fact that I am speaking to it at all points to my own personal transformation. It was not so very long ago that I was of the mind that the leadership needed to change for anything to go well. I did take enough responsibility for my own situational leadership behavior.

The 25 people that I was hoping to reach had a long and rocky road with each other and with their own leadership. Disappointments, poor communication habits and a lack of care with regards to relationships held in the container of a long difficult organizational restructuring effort had created an atmosphere of anger, distrust and contempt. Having stood in those very shoes some years ago, I know what damage it causes to one's coworkers, the organization and to ones self. I also know that when we take responsibility, hold our very selves accountable, then we move from victims to, as Peter Block might say, possibility.

What is the leader you want to see in the world? Write it you. Show us how its done. Let the change begin with you.

Five Things You Need To Succeed

2009-01-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Last night I was coaching an executive who leads a very large humanitarian program in Asia. She was considering the issue that the size of her program made it impossible for her to monitor all the details of the business. She reported that, for the first time in her career, she was removed from being able to have first hand information and had to depend on her executive team to bring her the information that she needed to have.

I asked her what where the five things that she would need to have in place to be a leader that operates at a high level of functioning. This is her list:

1. Have great senior staff that understand what she needs to know and what she doesn't need to know.
2. If you don't have the right staff, get them. Don't wait, hoping your current staff will eventually get it and work out.
3. Hold your senior staff accountable to meeting your expectations and agreed upon deadlines and action steps.
4. Have a small number of indicators in place to measure success. These should be just a handful that everyone can remember and keep track of. Measurements for NGOs might be things like cost per beneficiary.
5.Have a system in place that you get the information you need in a format that is useful to your own particular management style.

That is her list. What would you add?

What is Leadership? Where do we find it?

2008-12-19T03:09:00.000-08:00

I have been reading blogs and articles on leadership and what it is or is not. The other day I was working with a client who argued with me whether leadership was a moment-by-moment opportunity (my premise) or positional only.

I have no patience for those of us who choose to abdicate our responsibilities to speak up, take action, lead the way, because we are not in designated leadership positions. To me that is cowardice - a strong word, I know. Jim Stroup writes in his blog Managing Leadership that there are no leadership characteristics, no matter how hard we try to identify some. I don't know that I think that we are all leaders all the time. I think not. I think that we all have our moments of abdicating on our responsibilities - on things that we see that need to be changed but we don't have the spine or energy to do so. Even leaders that I generally admire have their faults -their areas that they can't bring their clear insight and inner courage to the situation.

Maybe that is a way of letting myself off the hook for my own many situations of abdication. But I think it is indeed true.

Leadership, situational or positional? Where do you stand and why?

Managing Change

2008-12-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

Soon I am off to Asia to work with a group of managers who are undergoing huge changes in their organization. In preparation, I have been reading up on the theories of change management. What caught my attention were the articles about managing the people issues in any transition. These are soft issues, not as tangible as developing a new budget, for instance, but critical to the success or failure of organizational change.

For myself and my clients I drew up a checklist to help themselves stay on track with the people management aspects of a change process. If you use it let me know what you found useful and what you would add to this list.

Two minds, one head

2008-11-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

Inside your skull are two separate brains. And these two separate brains can function along quite nicely, in their own manner, without each other. Eighty-five percent of us are left brain dominate and it shows in our behavior, how we are in the world. This is important because, I believe, successful leaders are the ones that can balance their right and left brains.

Now you probably wonder what I am talking about. I have been on fire since reading Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's book, My Stroke of Insight. I must have recommended it to a dozen people already. Dr Taylor is a brain scientist who had a stroke. Because she was a brain scientist she was able to observe the impact of the stroke on her brain and her well being. Then she deliberately choose what areas of her brain to reconnect (rehabilitate) through therapy and personal perseverance. More to the point, she decide what not to reconnect.

While the entire book is well worth your time, for my purposes the decision to rewire her brain so that it was more balanced between the left brain and the right brain. She was probably left brain dominate: storytelling, worrying, achieving, living in the future, judging herself and others, analytical and driven. In her recovery, she decided to strengthen the wiring to her right brain where living in the moment, joy, compassion and an absence of boundaries between self and others resides.

When I read the book I realized how much of my own brain time is taken up with left brain activities and how little I give to right brain. I mean, how much time do I need to spend worrying, internally criticizing myself and others and telling myself elaborate stories about why whatever is happening and why is it happening to me. And reading her story, I recommitted myself to personal practices that build the highways to the right brain and slow down the pathways to the left.

Dr Taylor writes about tending the garden of our minds. Your mind is not a wild animal trapped in your skull for which you have not a smidgen of control. It is a garden where you can nurture and plant beauty and peace and understanding of others. True leadership skills.

For your own rewiring purposes, here are 5 practices offered by Dr. Taylor:

1. Be aware of what you are feeling and thinking in any given moment. Take control of what you are thinking and feeling. This is within your mind's ability to do. Choose peace (right mind).

2. Notice when you left mind is in a reverberating loop of negative storytelling. How does your body feel in the moment? If you are in an anxious, fearful or other negative mode, chose to get out of that loop. Wait 90 seconds for the emotions to dissipate then speak to your brain as if to a loving child:" I appreciate your ability to think thoughts and feel emotions, but I am really not interested in thinking these thoughts or feelings these emotions amymore. Please stop bringing this stuff up."

3. Practice noticing your breathing, walking, eating and all activities that you are engaging in at any given moment. This disengages your left mind and kicks in your right mind.

4. When you are really stuck in a negative loop, keep handy a list of 3 things to think about: (1) something you would like to ponder deeply, (2) something that brings you terrific job and (3) something you would like to do.

5. Choose to do activities that engage your senses - music, massage, dancing, walking in nature, listening to birds.

For my own part, I assume rewiring is a long term project. It took Dr Taylor 8 years to get her left brain up and running again. And as the wise people say, no time like the present.

Taking the Plunge: Having Difficult Conversations for the good of the whole

2008-11-14T06:34:00.000-08:00

A conversation sticks in my mind that I had with a friend and former colleague a few months ago. The subject of our discussion was a mutual friend who is a hellion for work for. She can be condescending, rude and disrespectful to anyone under her. No one wants to work for her and no one has told her that. Her constant stream of bosses manuveur things so no one reports to her even when it would make organization sense to be otherwise. We both agreed that someone should tell her and that we weren't brave enough to be the ones to do so.

What is the cost to the organization for this lack of courage on the part of her supervisors (and of her friends)? Convoluted management structures, low morale, dampened creativity and just three that spring to my mind.

The comments from Kat Knecht from the November 12 posting reminded me of this situation which is not at all uncommon. Kat wrote that President-Elect Obama's success is due in part to his inisting that his team be respectful and supportive. Knowing human beings as I do, I am imagine that Obama had to call his people on behavior that did not measure up to his standards on more than one occassion, especially considering that stress brings out the worst in us and his people were under tremendous stress.

My friend and I demurred on having a difficult conversation with someone and let a untenable situation stand. Obama must have taken the high road and had many of those conversations. The authors of Crucial Conversations make what they call an audacious claim that having the challenging and scary conversations will only lead to good.

Kick start your career: Their research shows that individuals who know how to get things done as well as build relationships are those that master crucial conversations. Those that know how to stand up to the boss without, as they write, commit career suicide.

Improve your organization: Again their studies show that peak performing companies were not successful because of management structures, procedures and policies and had everything to do with people' ability to have difficult conversations. When colleagues did not perform according to standards, their peers knew how to step in and hold them accountable.

Improve your relationships: It is the inability to have productive crucial conversations that create the breakdown in relationships and the inability to solve pressing problems. And, without good relationship nothing worthwhile at work or at home will get accomplished.

What are the conversations you are avoiding?

Talking to a coworker about offensive behavior
Giving the boss feedback about how his behavior affects performance of others
Holding a peer accountable
Talking to a colleague who is hoarding information
Giving an unfavorable performance review
Setting behavioral standards amongst your direct reports and telling someone when he does not meet them
Letting a colleague know when you feel they have been rude to you

Be kind, be direct, be firm and make sure you listen to the other's response. But make a commitment to step up to the plate and have the conversations that can make all things possible.

Relationships, relationship, relationships

2008-11-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

This will be the first of many posts about relationships. I have been saying I am going to write a book about relationships someday and so let me get started here.

I am not talking about your family relationships, although those are hugely important. I am talking about everything else.

Maybe the world goes 'round based on strong relationships. You will get your next job based on someone you know. You will win a contract based, in part, on good relationships. You will sell your next widget based on who you know. Your direct report will cut you slack next time you mess up based on your good relationship and your boss will intervene on your behalf for the same reason.

Taking care of relationships is something our friends from Asian cultures already know. Those of us from western cultures value getting things done over relationships. If you have to be a little mean to someone because they are slow with a deadline that is A-OK. Deadlines rule. If you have to write an email while you are

What relationships do you need to strengthen for professional and personal reasons? Pick three and place them first on your list of things to do this week. Notice what shifts because you did.

Know Thyself (and why you are doing what you are doing)

2008-11-10T07:45:00.000-08:00

What is your motivation when you tell the guy you supervise, who happens to be close to your boss, to copy you on all communications with your boss? I just got off Skyping with a client, lets call her Betty, who was struggling with that issue.

Betty's motivation, it turned out, was fear-based. Fear that her authority would be undermined or she would be seen as irrelevant. Fear that in truth she did not have any value to add to the conversation.

There is nothing useful or productive that comes from a fear-based response. This is not a leadership tool.

I asked Betty what would happen if she was not copied. Would the overall program be damaged? Would their mission be in danger of running awry? No, she said. The need to be included in correspondence was a protection of her own status. And you can't protect your status from a fear-based perspective. It will backfire.

To her infinite credit, Betty looked at her own motivations honestly and was able to choose a path that served the good of the entire project, rather than her own image.

She could have made a mess by insisting on being copied, by creating discourse with her direct report and forcing alignments between him and her boss, instead of with her. Energy would have gone into managing those challenges rather than in implementing something more important to them all.

We are constantly challenged to look within ourselves and understand what is our own motivation and ask ourselves the question: So what? If the answer is, it is all about me then step aside.

Powerful leadership is selfless and demands of us a great deal of self-management.

Leadership in Action and Tuesday's Elections

2008-11-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

I wonder how many people told Obama not to even give the presidential election a run because a African American would never get elected? Bet is was a lot. And he did it anyway. That is one component of leadership I would like to see more of out here amongst ourselves. That we see what may be possible and we got forth no matter what.

No matter what means just that. No matter what. No matter is the majority think that no way no how is this going to happen. It means stepping up to follow your vision, with fear in your throat, but conviction in your heart.

Miki Saxon, blogger at Leadership Turn , writes that leadership skills should be taught to everyone. Not just to positional leaders. I could not agree more.

The way I am thinking about it at the moment, we are always choosing one of two things: step up to being a leader or choosing to abdicate our leadership. Think about it. If you see an injustice or unethical situation happening in your office and you decide to do nothing about it, which are you choosing. Leadership or Abdication? If you think that your boss ought to be the one handling it, not you, which are you choosing? Leadership or Abdication?

Leadership is everyone. President-elect Obama just showed us how.

Election Day Leadership

2008-11-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

I went and was prepared to stand in the rain to vote. In fact, I wanted to stand in the rain and talk everyone in line with me and catch the excitement that today we are voting - we are deciding today who will lead our country over the next 4 years. But I did not have to wait in any line and the rain was but a drizzle. Sometimes leadership is like that - you gird your loins for the big too-do and then nothing.

I was reading some of my favorite leadership bloggers. Robert Sutton's who continues to write about places to work that have the "No Asshole Rule" - if you haven't read about it, run and don't walk to read his book or his blog. Having workplaces that are respectful seems to be one of Bob's main passions right now.

I love his 15 Things I Believe:

1. Sometimes the best management is no management at all -- first do no harm!

2. Indifference is as important as passion.

3. In organizational life, you can have influence over others or you can have freedom from others, but you can't have both at the same time.

4. Saying smart things and giving smart answers are important. Learning to listen to others and to ask smart questions is more important.

5. Learn how to fight as if you are right and listen as if you are wrong: It helps you develop strong opinions that are weakly held.

6. You get what you expect from people. This is especially true when it comes to selfish behavior; unvarnished self-interest is a learned social norm, not an unwavering feature of human behavior.

7. Getting a little power can turn you into an insensitive self-centered jerk.

8. Avoid pompous jerks whenever possible. They not only can make you feel bad about yourself, chances are that you will eventually start acting like them.

9. The best test of a person's character is how he or she treats those with less power.

10. The best single question for testing an organization’s character is: What happens when people make mistakes?

11. The best people and organizations have the attitude of wisdom: The courage to act on what they know right now and the humility to change course when they find better evidence.

12. The quest for management magic and breakthrough ideas is overrated; being a master of the obvious is underrated.

13. Err on the side of optimism and positive energy in all things.

14. It is good to ask yourself, do I have enough? Do you really need more money, power, prestige, or stuff?

15. Jim Maloney is right: Work is an overrated activity

What would you add to this list?

Fear and What to Do About it

2008-10-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

There is a huge tsunami wave of fear sweeping over this country and in many parts of the world. Those of us with money are afraid of losing it while others are afraid of the woman from Alaska with the hundred thousand dollar wardrobe will become the VP of the US and yet others are losing sleep as to whether the guy with the funny name prays facing Mecca or not.

And these are all the wrong things to be spending our energy on. They are not the real issues. They are distractors and divertors from the real stuff. The real issue at hand is this:

It is what it is. Now what are we going to do about it.

Being afraid, talking about being afraid and what you are afraid of and what might possibly could happen in the future are not the stuff leaders are made of. At least not the leaders I want to be following.

The Maverick at Work blog wrote on October 9, “A crisis is a terrible thing to waste”. Bill at Maverick wrote:

“One of my worries is that many of us will learn the wrong lessons—specifically, that we will become too conservative and risk-averse, that we will learn to fear creativity rather than embrace it.”

The right lesson is not to sink into the fear and help spread it around. The right response here is to stand up, take stock of your situation and that of the world around you. Take a good breath and ask yourself, Now, what are we going to do about it?

And the next time you catch yourself in a conversation about how terrible things are, stop. The only way forward from there is down. Not up and up is where you want to go and to bring others with you.